‘Why I Dislike Lagos’

By: Esther Charles Ikedife

I never reach NIGERIA , I don de see stress and shegebanza I AM SORRY, GUYS. but I dislike Lagos State.

I almost missed my flight from Lagos to Asaba. I had totally forgotten that I’d need to pay for extra luggage, and I only had the 15kg free allowance for domestic flights. I arrived at the airport before 6:00 am, as my flight was scheduled for 7:45 am. After standing in line for almost an hour because of how crowdy the line was, it was finally my turn to check in. The attendant weighed my bags and informed me that I needed to pay ₦38,000 for excess luggage.

I was taken aback, and she explained that it was ₦1,000 per kilogram or something like that.

I hastened to make the payment, but she directed me to a specific area, urging me to hurry as my flight was departing soon.

I rushed to the payment unit, only to discover that they only accepted ATM card payments. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a valid ATM card with me, having left all my cards with my mom when I left Nigeria, and the only one I had with me had expired.

Hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm… That was how I began to plead for alternative options.

The boy on seat suggested that I transfer the money to his account, and he’d help make the payment, but I had to add some “malt money” as a token of appreciation.

I agreed to his suggestion and took his account number, attempting to make a USSD payment from my Access Bank account, which was my most active one. However, the payment failed repeatedly, and I grew increasingly frustrated. I then tried using my Think To Ink Writers Academy account from Fidelity, but it didn’t work either, as the account was dormant despite having funds in it.

To make matters worse, I didn’t have any bank mobile apps installed. Never had one before leaving Nigeria.

I ended up calling my sister Gloria to help me make the transfer to the guy, but she couldn’t help out since she and I share the same bank Access Bank. No network.

I rushed to the counter to plead with the attendant to check me in, and take my contact but she gave me a stern look and hissed.

I then called Christie my sister to make the transfer, but she couldn’t understand me due to the background noise.

I called my husband, informed him about the situation, and he scolded me for not having a banking app and not reaching out to him sooner.

Someone that can’t even remember his naira Bank account is scolding me for not having Mobile Bank app.

He took action and called someone to make the transfer. However, the person claimed to have made the transfer, but the guy on seat I was working with said he hadn’t received it. Meanwhile, my flight was being called, and I was getting increasingly anxious, feeling a rush of stress.

I rushed to the counter, pleading with the attendant to check me in despite the issues with my payment, assuring her that the transfer had been made. However, she shot me a stern glance again, set my ID aside, and fired at me, “Madam, please shift and let me check in others. Your flight is departing in 10 minutes.”

I continued to beg, even switching to Igbo when I saw her name tag, but she was just so rude.

I stood there, overwhelmed by the stress. If I missed my flight, I’d lose out – no refunds, and I’d have to pay 50% to book a new one.

I seethed with frustration and my husband was busy blaming me for not reaching him sooner.”Woh! Carry your luggage and go back to Gloria’s place. We book flight next time” he said.

Just then, a kind stranger intervened, inquiring about the issue. The attendant explained, and he urged her to check me in. When she refused, citing concerns about people not paying, making her bare the loss.

I offered to share my Facebook name as proof. That if I don’t pay, they should drag me on social media.

The attendant no gree. She kwechiri!
They finally announced for the last time and the man offered to pay, on the condition that I’d pay him back. “Flight tickets are expensive, and I don’t want you to miss yours. Please pay me back, I beg you. Don’t run off with my money,” he pleaded.

I nodded and promised to repay as we exchanged contact information.

The attendant cautioned him, “Your money might get lost,” but he asked her to check me in anyway.

She complied, and I thanked him, but he waved it off, saying, “Stop thanking me, go and board before you miss your flight.”

As I rushed to the escalator, the guy I’d been trying to pay for excess luggage called, saying he’d received the payment. I asked him to go to the check-in unit and inform the attendant.

Luckily, I had taken the good man’s contact, so I called him to check if he’d completed the transfer. He said he was in the process when I called, but I assured him it was no longer necessary since the payment had been received. I thanked him for his help, and that was how I managed to catch my flight from Lagos to Asaba.

The stress is already stressing just few days in.

The way I’m planning to visit the bank to sort out all my accounts and fix all the fixable eeh.

For now, let me focus on the wedding.

You see Lagos? That city no work at all. I wonder how people survive there. Getting over populated by the day. The traffic I even experienced on my way to the airport is story for another day.